You can now find me over at Wordpress.

Sorry for any inconvenience.

It's been a very very long time since I've updated my livejouranl(or for that matter even visited my friends' journals or even the livejournal website in general) and I've come to the difficult decision to stop posting on here.

I won't be deleting it(there is far too much of my life invested within it's 'pages')and I understand some(if not all) of you have probably forgotten I even exist. For those of you who haven't, or for those whose craving of the Nickness has be reawakened, I invite you to come and join me on my new Blogspot.

I'll supply the scotch and chairs, you just bring yourself(and perhaps a couple cigars).

I'll be waiting.

So I have no idea why exactly I'm posting. Nothing really to say. I'm still working at FCS, but at the same time I'm looking for a better job. I need more money, and would love a 9-5 mon-fri job.

Things are going well in the NicknessCave(read: jb's basement) Though I still don't have my no smoking sigh up(cant find a place for it) and it just doesn't feel like home yet.

I'm going to see Wild Hogs with my mom tonight. That should be fun. I'm a huge Tim Allen fan. I've even read both his books(did you even know he had written books? One is called 'Don't stand to close to a naked man' and the other is 'I'm not really here')

Anyways, everyone feel free to talk among themselves. I've gotta grab a shower and contemplate the meaning of life beyond the number 42.

You know, a part of me is really starting to hate LJ. I haven't posted in such a long time, and every night I feel like it's there..taunting me....mad at me for not using it. Then, when I finally get on I feel as though I really don't have anything worthwhile to say. Take now, for example. It's 8am, and I don't have to be at work til 4. Which would seem like a good thing except that all this week I've been busting my butt, working 20 hour shift graveyard shifts, and I'm not even done yet. Next week will be the same thing. This retail world I'm in...wow it is a mad, mad world.

While on that work subject, one of the current member's only for work is Selah's Hiding place album. All the songs on it are really awesome, and I'm starting to really dig the album's title track, but 'Before the throne of God above' really has just snagged me from the get go. Check it out:

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong, a perfect plea
A great high Priest whose Name is Love
Who ever lives and pleads for me
My name is graven on His hands
My name is written on His heart
I know that while in heaven He stands
No tongue can big me there depart
No tongue can bid me there depart

When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end to all my sin
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free
For God the just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me
To look on Him and pardon me

Behold Him there the risen Lamb
My perfect spotless righteousness
The great unchangeable I AM
The Kind of glory and of grace
One with Himself I cannot die
My soul is purchased by His blood
My life is hid with Christ on high
With Christ my Savior and my God!
With Christ my Savior and my God!


I also found this great video about what happens when a guy finds out his wife has been cheating on him. I've embedded it below.


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Cheating Wife - video powered by Metacafe

A few things:

I've moved(into my brother's basement, and let me tell you, it's way cooler than my apartment. Plus I'm saving money, and I'm *almost* out of debt! Yay!)

I'm going to be promoted within the next 3 months(hopefully sooner, but one can never tell with this sort of thing. I'm not really in any hurry. I like being an associate manager. but the increase in pay would be nice)

I don't have internet access(I haven't for about 2 weeks) so I'm sneaking it from my parents' house(until my dad catches me, which is why this is a brief update)

I'm still single(I brought in the new year single. I'm not too upset about it, 2007 is the year to focus on God and myself, and if God wants to bring me someone, so be it)

I still miss Simon

Dear Tube Socks,

It's me again. I hope you had a good year. Free of athletes' feet and toe jams. Lemme cut to the chase. On Decemberween morning, when I open you guys up, you're going to hear...things. Hurtful things. Unforgivable things. Things like, Uhhh... and Oh, man! and This present of tube socks totally sucks and I hate it! Don't you believe a word of it, Tube Socks.

I love you guys. I don't know what I'd do without my yearly pair. But a guy's gotta keep up appearances, right? If peoples found out I have a soft spot for tube socks, it'd be all over. It took me years to live down that Martina Navratilova poster...and I will not go down that road again.

We can be secret friends. Like that hunchback kid at school. In closing, please disregard any and all negative comments or negative burning you may hear or experience on Decemberween.

Stealthily Yours,

Strong Bad

I have internet!

Much thanks to my brother, Nona the Ninja, for hacking me into someone else's signal.

Now I won't be bored on my day off.

Tonight after watching a Lost marathon(season 1) with my mom and Bethany, I came home to my cat, Simon meowing at my door. He was hungry, and even though I've fed him a couple times today, I decided I'd feed him one more time before I went to bed. After he was done eating, he begin rubbing up against my leg and purring. So I picked him up and just held and petted him, just like I always do. And then it hit me. This is going to be the last night I ever do this with him.

And so I just continued to hold and pet him, now crying in my computer chair until he got bored and squirmed out of my arms.

I wonder if he knew I was giving him back to the shelter tomorrow if he would have squirmed away so fast.

People, I am sad. Had I known I would be getting rid of him so quickly I never would have gotten him. He didn't even make it to his first Christmas with me. *sigh*

Simon, you were my first room mate in my new apartment, and you kept me sane when I felt like I was going crazy. I hope you find yourself an awesome home with some kickbut owners.

Consider the following:

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical).

This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight.

On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that 'flying reindeer' (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine.

We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each.

In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second.

Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.> In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

First off I'd like to apologize to my readers. It's been quite a long time since I posted anything of substance on my LJ. A part of me wants to blame myspace, but even then I don't post anything of substance on their blog. Worry not, for I am still an LJer in my heart.

Recently I've had a few major changes going on in my life. Well, some of them have yet to happen, but they're just around the corner so I think I should tell everyone. I think I'll do it in the ever so popular list, with my comments in italics.

1. My lease is up on my apartment Jan 11. (not too much to say about this--thank goodness I'm leaving. I've never really found an apartment complex that I actually enjoy living at. That might be because I hate the idea of renting--why rent when you can own? So chances are I'll be moving in with my brother for a little while-helping him with his new house, and trying to save money at the same time. Ofcourse moving in with my brother brings us directly to...

2. My brother is alergic to cats(and so are some other people I know) so moving in with him means I need to find Simon another home. Its sad, cause I've really come to love this cat, and it's gonna be really hard for me to let him go. I'm trying to do it as soon as possible cause now that I know he has to go, I don't want to prolong it and drag it out, or it will be much more harder for me to let go later.

people have been bugging me so I suppose it's high time I wrote something here.

But I'm not sure what to say. Nothing out of the ordinary has happened to me.

Sleep, eat, work, friends, and then the cycle continues.

I suppose I could write something deep and meaningful and profoundly religious, but who here would actually want to read it?

So here I sit, roommate locked in his room, cat sleeping on the couch. All the quiet nay the sounds of my black and white FCS clothes drying in the dryer(not enough money this month to get them dry-cleaned)

God is good.

I miss House.

I recently bought myself a ballroom dancing CD, and a 'learn to waltz' dvd.(tower records is going out of business and had fantastic prices)

Yes, one day I will dance(ok, ok, so I can dance now, I guess I should rephrase that?....)

One day I will be a really awesome ballroom dancer.

I don't think I've been to a church service in over a month. it makes me sad. One can't be a christian all by themselves.(hebrews 10:25 comes to mind)

Still, recently for some odd reason most of my quiet times alone with God seem so much better than a Mosaic Service--or any service for that matter.

*sigh* I'm writing in short sentences and I keep hitting the 'return' button. I'll stop now. I hope you all have a very goodnight.

So I was randomly thinking of stuff and started thinking of these questions...anyone have an thoughts?

What is the purpose of friendship?

What's its reason for existing?

What does friendship give us that our relationships with our family can't?

(feel free to debate among yourselves)

This is the best!

So this day blah blah years ago my parents were married. My mom got my dad a card and my dad didn't get my mom anything. *sigh* Just the usual celebration, I suppose.

Anyways, here are some a few pictures of my new look.








Any comments?

When I got home this evening(or morning, depending how you look at it) in my email inbox I had my first letter from a Stickson fan.

*smile*

For those of you wondering, I am planning on doing many, many more comics. For now I'll be scanning them into a computer, until my photoshop skills are up to par enough for me to completely do them on there.


In other, completely unrelated news...

I had an awesomely fun time tonight. Grabbed some food at TGIF, then went to my mom's house and watched the Lake House(again) and Curious George. Oh, and I finally leaned how to play sudoku.

Yup. Today's been an all around awesome day.

No cell phone or Internet! I am sad!

So my phone broke about a week ago and I'm waiting on Verizon to send me a new one.

What makes it worse? 3 days ago Comcast turned off my cable and internet connection! (we wont go into why)

So now I feel so.....out of the loop.

I miss you all. Very, very much.

Leave me a message or something, so I can feel loved when I'm lucky enough to get back on here.

Sigh. I love you all! Don't forget about me!

The past couple of weeks I keep writing my LJ entries in my head. But by the time I get to a computer to type them all out, I'm so mentally worn out that I just don't type anything. Its quite sad really. But heres another update for all of you in cyberland who miss me.

pinkacid7 had her 23rd birthday last Saturday. It was much fun; we(melissa, bethany and myself) ended up going to a park and swinging on swings and playing like we were little kids. Later we met up with a bunch of other people for bowling and then cake and ice cream. I'm currently uploading 180 pictures of her whole birthday weekend onto photobucket, click here to take a look at them all--though I warn you, some are just plain scary. I have my favs though...what are yours?

Last night I went to chuck-e-cheese with mi familia(plus the ever so wonderful bethany, though as much as shes been hanging around us we might as well dub her an honorary Clark--especially now that shes marrying Melissa. Seriously folks, shes awesome. I couldn't wish for a better friend for my sister). It was much fun, and I gave my tolkins to Melissa so she could get a demonic-looking plushy doll. She had never been to chuck-e-cheese before. I think she had fun.

I should have gone to church this morning but completely overslept my alarm and didn't wake up until 11:05. Ofcourse, I didn't go to bed last night until 5am, so it kinda makes sense. It was really bad last night, I wasn't tired at all and ended up going for a walk that lasted two hours. Yeah, it was nice to walk in the still of the night, breathing in the clean, crisp air.

If i didn't have to work tonight, I'd probably do it again.

On a random note, Shelly bought the new Christina Auguilera CD. It's...different. Very blues, jazz, big bandish. I'm gonna be copying it to my ipod probably sometime tomorrow morning. Be on the lookout for lyrics that I think rock.

I'm gonna go now. My muse has left me, and I find it hard to type without her. Heres a comic to keep you happy. It's not funny, but for some reason I just felt like posting it.

I am really interested in consolidating all my debt. I think it's the only way I'm actually going to be able to get my feet on the ground and start 'new'. I want to be able to live my life without debt killing me.

There are....ALOT of companies out there. Anyone know of any that are any good?

Anyone feel...disappointed in the season 6 premire of Smallville other than myself?

Oh and for the record, I now officially hate Jimmy 'James' Olsen.

I don't care what anyone else says. The Back to the Future Trilogy is by far the best Trilogy in all of history.

You know what I love after a hard day of working? Coming home, putting on some illegally downloaded music, relaxing, and popping open happiness wrapped up in colorful little paper(ie:starburst) Let me tell you folks: Taste the rainbow ain't got nothing on these little pieces of wonderful goodness.

Shelly comes back from her NJ vacation tomorrow. Thank goodness. I haven't been feeling up to par lately and I'm really glad she'll be back to lend some supermanager support. And ofcourse she gave me saturday off so I could help her move. I hope it doesn't take too long, it's Mosaic night AND it happens to be my sister's birthday. Crap... I can't remember how old she is. Meh. I'm sure she'll remind me. Or maybe I'll find a super awesome happy maybe20something birthday. *and we're holding up the bypass. Ohh. Me and my dad havin' a top laugh. Whoa. And I'm sitting on the toolbox. Oh, and I'm so glad I'm not in school boss. So glad I'm not in school.*

Yup. I've been watching/listening to the JCB video on repeat. Not really sure why. It's kinda...hypnotizing. Add the wonderful effects of a starburst induced pleasure coma and the results are....wonderful. :)

Oh, I should mention(I've already told some of you this) I have decided another year should not pass by without me taking some sort of vacation out of the states. I used to travel alot, and I feel I've been stuck in Manassas WAY too long. So...next summer(date tba)I'm going to go to England. I'm officially saving up for it. And I'm inviting EVERYONE I know. Yes, even you LJ people I don't really know and only talk to once every couple of months...you're invited too. if I have to go by myself I will, but I'm hoping some of my way awesome friends(yes, that would be you) will come with me. Ofcourse, someone will have to stay behind to watch Simon-I don't think I could sneak him onboard without security thinking he's some type of newaged living bomb. *I'll protect you from the horrible anal probes Simon!*

Sigh. I need a massage. I wish House was on every night of the week. How many nights can you eat spaghetti before your body decides to revolt against you? I'm luke I'm five and my dad's Bruce Lee. He drives me around in his JCB...
.
.
.
.
.
.
and with that, the starburst are gone.

Disclaimer before the actual post: I am not bitter. I am not angry. I don't hate God. I'm not angry with Him. I'm just...ranting right now.

So heres the story. After the whole Ashley fiasco, I really felt strongly that I was supposed to stop looking for someone to date. Contrary to popular belief, I am not constantly seriously looking, but there were/are a few websites that I would visit regularly just to see what was out there. I felt pretty strongly that if God wanted me to have someone in my life, he would bring the right person in His timing.

So I stopped visiting the sites. A wee bit later(I'm not sure how long, because I didn't keep track) I got a message from one of those sites saying that a girl wanted to meet me. That hardly ever happens, and when it does, it always turns out badly. My first instint was to ignore it, which I did for a couple days, until curiousity got the best of me and I went in and saw that not only had the girl been interested in meeting me, but had left me her email. So I emailed her.

She responded, and soon after we started talking on the phone(she rarely got online to begin with) We had alot in common and seemed to really get along well(at least over the phone) so after about a month went by, she asked if I wanted to come down and visit her. I was unsure(wanting to take things slow, as did she) but agreed and last Sunday I drove 2 hours to visit her church and spend some time with her.

It went great. The church reminded me of my grandparents, and I got to meet her family and friends and pastor. I even came out of my shell and talked to people(moreso than I'm used to)

Everyone loved me. I know this, because not only did they tell me, but she told me as well. Alas, it was not to be. I got a phone call from her yesterday saying that even though I'm a great catch, was a big hit, and have alot to bring to a relationship, she felt like she was not ready to 'take the plung' and start dating. We won't be seeing each other again, and we probably won't remain friends(she never gets online, doesn't have long distance on her phone, and lives 2 hours away) Sigh.

This is the part thats annoying/frustrating me. Recently in my dating 'life' I seem to be getting involved with women who aren't ready for a relationship. This time I thought would be different, because she contacted me. But it was the same. Which is really freaking me out inside. Classically speaking, isn't it the guy's 'job' to not want to be in a committed relationship? Aren't the women supposed to be huddling together in sleep overs complaining that their crush doesn't want to go steady? I feel like such the girl now. All thats missing is the pint of Ben and Jerry. And perhaps the wonders of V3.

People have to do whats right for them. I understand that. And I'm glad she told me she couldn't handle a relationship before we actually got into one. But what was the point of even contacting me? What exactly is this teaching me? How to talk to random people I don't know and will never meet again? Patience? How to not get my hopes up? How to gaurd my heart so closely that when the right one finally does come along she'll have to own a sledgehammer to get through the hardheartedness? Yes yes, I'm sure I'm being overdramatic now.

So ok God. I don't know what I'm doing. Or where I'm going. I know where I want to go, and what I want do to, and where I believe you want me to go and what you want me to do, but I have no idea how to get there. Feel free to step in any time and take over. Really. I wouldn't mind some cool vision right about now, or an awesomely scarey angel visiting me telling me to follow the bright star. I know you don't owe me anything, but if you feel like it, I'd love to know what you have planned for me, and how you plan on getting me there. Just let me know about the angel, ok? I wouldn't want 'him' to show up and me to have not saved 'him' a slice of pizza.

*sigh*

It's the waiting thats the most annoying part.

What follows will be randomness from me:

**Note to all you (almost) alcoholics out there: If you want to drink more aftershock in one sitting, mix it with Sprite, or some other clear looking pop beverage. *sigh* Tis good stuff, I tell you.

**For the next 2 weeks I'm the acting store manager of the FCS in Gaithersburg, MD.

**Clicking a link off of Questionable Content, I discovered XKCD. And now I'm addicted. A webcomic of romance,
sarcasm, math, and language. Could it get any better? I think not.

**My mom's birthday is tomorrow. I have no idea what to get her.

**My sister and Eric (officially) broke up today.

**For some reason right now I feel....sad. But I do not know why.

**I also feel lightheaded, but thats due to the Aftershock.

**The season 3 premire of House is next Tuesday evening at 8pm. I'm thinking of throwing a party.

**I just discovered that with enough free time and even with impaired motor skills, I can still stand on my hands/head in my underwear. Ofcourse, that confused Simon, who tried to attack my nose. I don't think I'll be doing that again any time soon.

**mad props to anyone who is reading this after midnight. Cause um...ok, well I wrote this at 10pm, but I don't work tomorrow, so chances are I'm still up and bored and if you're reading this after midnight then the flying monkeys might just have time to land in the stadium and attack the red spiders. *shudder* Stay away from the snorkling puppets, Wonderman!

If someone who had never met me asked you to describe me, how would you do it?

i posted a major thought.

if you're smart you'll figure out where.

the roast of william shatner is tonight.

10pm...the shat hits the fan.


EDIT: It sucked. Big time. A bunch of famous people in a room fake laughing at a bunch of gay jokes told by alot of unknown 'comedians'.

Shatner deserved much better.

I just woke up(its 5:48am). Did I sleep well? Yup! All 14 hours!

Which is weird, cause usually I only sleep 4-5 hours a night(if that). I guess working like, 20 hours straight will do that to a person, huh?

I can't think of anything really really awesome to say.

The motivation has left, and the only thing I can think of is to post awesome House videos.

...is this really what my life's become? :(

Ok peoples, so I haven't really felt motivated to post anything of worth. Life has been sort of dull and boring, and I didn't want to go all emo and tell you all about it, so instead I've posted nothing--until now.

I love to laugh. and I love House, MD. Heres something that makes me happy. :)

my quick lunch meeting with Pastor Doug(our new young adult pastor) turned into a 2 hour lunch at Applebees. Ah. It was fun. I got to know him, he got to know me, and we spent alot of time talking about Mosaic and whatnot. Since I'm one of the leaders of Men's Core, it looks like theres going to be alot of work/changes in the near future. But luckily for me, I'll now have a 'support' system--but that won't be in place for another month. Yay for me though-he invited me to his house on Sunday(along with a bunch of other people, so i dont really feel that special about it) for a 'interested in being a part of the leadership team' meeting. I actually got alot of his 'speech' today. Quite impressive. I'm already praying about where God wants me to 'plug in' (so to speak)

In other news, my articles for Mo' Ink still are not complete. I plan on seriously sitting down tomorrow with a Bible and the internet and not leaving til both of them are done. My humor article is answering the question "Why do boys chase girls?" and my 'spiritual' article has to do with what it means to be called sons and daughters of God. Both are going to be recurring columns. Fun stuff.

And after watching the entire first season of Lois and Clark, I am def ready for some major writing! :P

Oh yes, one more thing to note: in searching the link to the season 1 dvd of Lois and Clark, a came across and amazing discovery: Season 5 of Smallville will be out on dvd September 12!

oh, and for you Sinfest fans out there, heres another comic to make ya happy. I dedicate this posting to Simon :)

for all my whining and complaining and frustration, i bought(and took home) my car last friday. God is Good. I need to learn to trust him more often.

I'm now sitting at home, working on mens core stuff.

Yay.

This whole week i'm off of work for vacation. Wanna go do something? Let me know. :)

Can anyone tell me why a car dealer stays open til 9pm, when the people in their corporate finance office goes home at 5? WTF is up with that? How the hell do you expect to make any money? Grrrrrrr!

ok...long story, short version: Saturn turned me down. I went to a chevy dealer and had my mom co-sign for an Avio. After wating for over 2 hours, they came back with a 'priliminary' approval, but someone has to physically look at my application, so I can't take the car home(like they told me I could)

Yeah, chances are because of scheduling(my moms and mine, as well as the stupid car guy who is trying to make us NOT come back til he's working) I prob won't get the car til F-ing NEXT Friday.

Yes, I'm pissed.

I'm gonna go now. I still have half a bottle of wine left. And damn I hope theres something funny on tv tonight.

I bought a car today.

Ok, so thats a lie. I've almost bought a car. I'll find out bright and early tomorrow morning if the bank has approved everything.

A red Saturn Ion. Oh, and I guess I should say it's brand new. As in, a 2006 with only 48 miles on it, and two of them were mine. :)

Anyone feel like giving me a ride to the dealership tomorrow?

(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

✓ I miss somebody right now.	× I don't watch much TV these days.	✓ I own lots of books.
✓ I wear glasses or contact lenses.	× I love to play video games.	× I've tried marijuana.
× I've watched porn movies.	× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.	× I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
✓ I curse sometimes.	× I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.	✓ I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.

( it goes on... )

I'm single again. While I don't feel like going into the details, I will say that even though it was (kinda) my decision, I'm still fairly sad about it.

I'm feeling kinda blue today, so my friend sent me a picture of this tee-shirt to cheer me up.

Finally, after a long break due to their father's death, the brothers Chaps have once again returned and have updated the Homestar Runner Website!

They've also started offering a new 'Cool Tapes' teeshirt, and have updated their store main page as well. Yay!

I don't feel motivated to post.

I haven't felt truely motivated in a while.

*sigh*

Which really sucks, cause I love writing in my LJ.

Today was pretty uneventful. I slept through most of it, only stopping a few times to check email and respond to my friends' chat requests.

This evening was pretty cool though; my Mom took me out to see Click. Wow is it an awesome movie! I wasn't sure about it, but once it started playing I was hooked(oh, and just to brag, I figured out the plot of the movie within 10 minutes of Christopher Walkin being introduced)

And to make today even better, I just discovered(thanks to Nona the Ninja) that the Spiderman 3 trailers have been released online.

Now if only I could get links to the Tourgasm videos, I'd be a happy man.

I didn't leave the store until 3am.

I am so tired.

The rain stopped.

My cell phone needs to be charged.

And now I sleep.

What follows is the emails between Ashley and myself on this subject. Friends-only, so don't go blabbing!

Ashley,
I miss you.
But I should tell you; I’m trying hard not to invest more of my heart in our relationship, on the offchance that you decide that you can serve God better by being single, but it’s really difficult. I don’t want to get hurt, and I’m having fears that I will. Its hard for me to be in a relationship with a woman who at any point might decide God wants her to be single.
You are an amazing woman, and I love getting to know you better. I really do desire to be with you: as a friend and companion. I’m not really sure why I’m telling you all this. I guess I just want to be open with you, and I’m not sure how open I should be. Did we move too fast? Probably. And if taking it slower is what you need, then I want to do that. I’m just not sure of how. I don’t want to come between you and God, especially not you and God’s will for your life. If anything, I want to be a part of it. *sigh*. I know you’re busy, but sometimes I feel more like something tagged to the end of your life, rather than a real part of it--and I know that’s not your fault, its just cause we have independent lives and we don’t live relatively close to each other. I don’t know what else to say. This is just me rambling. I’m not trying to cause you or us any drama. Just saying whats been on my mind the past couple days.
Anyways, I hope you’re having a good evening, and I hope you get your room all packed up and ready for the move.
Take care, and I’m sure I’ll talk to you soon.

She responded:

Nick,
Thank you. I appreciate your honesty. I know this is hard for you and the last thing I want to do is hurt you. You are a really great guy and I have enjoyed the time we have spent together. I do think that we moved too fast- and I was very much apart of setting that pace. I too still want you to be apart of my life. I want to continue to get to know you- as my friend and companion, but in order to be faithful to God's calling in my life I think that may mean me not being in a committed relationship right now. I still want to date you- I enjoy our dates! I don't see this as a "break up"- you can still call me your girl friend if you want! I just think we need to slow down and take our time getting to know each other. I'm sorry I made a commitment to you that I cannot fulfill- that is my only reason for wanting to slow down- I know I cannot fulfill that commitment right now and that is not fair to you. I hope you understand. Do you? I want to see you this week. Let's plan to get together on Wednesday. Lets do brunch or something- I don't have to be at the church till 3.
I love you Nick!
Ash

Then I wrote:

Ash,
I understand, it’s just very hard for me. It almost sounds to me like you want the relationship, without having the responsibility of the relationship. Is that right? I’m just not used to dating someone without a commitment there, you know? Because whether or not the commitment is there on your side, I know I won’t be seeing anyone else and I know I’m going to continue to fall for you. *sigh* You are really awesome Ashley, and I don’t see how anyone could not want you in their life. But I do want you to be faithful to God’s calling—I just hope one day it includes me! LOL. I’d love to still be able to call you my girlfriend, but don’t you feel it would be inappropriate? Usually I think of those titles as a verbal symbol of a committed relationship. But if you feel differently, let me know. I don’t want to make things awkward for you, and I don’t know how you’re referring to me when you talk to other people.
I’d love to see you this Wednesday for brunch, if you’re not too busy(I know you have a lot to prepare for)
I love you too.

Then she wrote:

Nick,
I'm not trying to sound lazy or like a player here but I can't handle the responsibility of a relationship right now. That's why I'm saying its unfair for you for me to make that commitment to you and then fail miserably at it. Nick, I am a full time student AND a full time pastor- and somewhere in there i need time for myself, but because I made a commitment to you I am more likely to never give myself time, and do a half ass job on my work in order to spend time with you because that is a commitment I made to you...do you understand? This is why I'm asked for us to not be in a committed relationship right now! I can't handle that pressure- whether you put it there or not. Its not that I want to date other people, its that I am simply not ready for this.
I refer to you as Nick, the guy I'm dating. And that's what I still want to do- just less often- I need that flexibility. It might not look any different than it does right now, but I need that mental note of not being obligated to you.
I wish you could understand how difficult this is for me.
Ash


I'll leave you all to comment as you so desire.

But I wanted to tell everyone that I 'discovered' letterboxing today.

I haven't even started yet and I'm already addicted.

Season 8 of Frasier... completed. And boy what a season it was.

I need to find myself a better hobby.

Next up: the 7pm Mosaic Prayer Meeting.

Heres a quick conversation I had with a friend about my relationship with Ashley. This is a friends-only post, and for good reason.

Me:I dont think Ashley and I are gonna work
Friend: wha?!?!
Me:granted, I dont know for sure yet
Me:shes.. struggling
Friend: explain
Me: she likes being in relationships, but feels that she can serve God better by being single. Shes not sure what God wants her to do.
Friend: hrm
Me: she feels like she doesnt have the time to both serve God and adaquately be in a relationship
Friend: thats crappy
Me: so yeah
Me: there are alot of times I feel like I'm not really a part of her life, just something tagged on to the end of it
Me: So we'll have to see. Its very highly possible that she'll get over these issues, but something inside tells me it's not going to be very long before we break up
Friend: which isn't a good basis of a strong relationship
Friend: im sorry to hear that
Me: thanks.
Friend: what you up to?
Me: just relaxing before frasier and I get re-aquainted
Friend: sweet
Me: i'm mentally preparing myself
Friend: huh?
Me: and trying to unattach myself from Ashley
Friend: what do you mean?
Me: well, i figure since I know it's coming, if i start preparing now, then i wont have to *greive* for so long once it actually is over
Friend: i don't think you can prepare yourself for something like that
Me: I can try. And fraiser can help. :) He's def got alot of failed relationships. I'll pull my emotional responses from them
Me: lol
Friend: well here's a thought
Friend: why don't you break it off with her? i find it hurts much less when you do the breaking up instead of being broken up with
Me: I've thought about it
Me: but i care about her
Me: i dont want to end it if theres a slight chance she could get over her issues
Friend: i can understand that
Friend: but at the same time, why do you want to be with someone that has issues with the relationship early on? thats not a good sign for the future
Me: because if those issues clear up, everything would be ok.
Friend: my thinking... it wouldn't be, because those issues will always resurface
Me: i guess in all honesty i just dont want to let go yet
Friend: at least, thats my experience
Friend: that makes sense
Me: :) so we'll see what happens
Friend: i hope it works out... i know that she makes you happy
Me: Thanks. We'll see.

It's sad when your boss, after she realizes how *fat* you really are says that she'd be ok with you taking a couple weeks off work to have the gastric bypass.



Thank goodness for the new Foamy rant. He's cheered me up enough to get me to Mosaic and Post Mo' volleyball.

So today I spent the majority of the day with Ashley. She came over and officially met my dad(she shook his hand and I think he smiled and said hi) so that was pretty interesting. Then we went to lunch at Glory Days(I love thier nachos) and then we went shopping at Potomac Mills mall. Wow, it has been so long since I've been there! After that Ash and I headed back to Manassas to the bowling ally to surprise Matt for his surprise birthday party. So yes, you guessed it--Ashley met almost all of my friends! It was alot of fun. Hopefully I'll have pictures up soon, so you all can see us in all of our bowling action!

I should say--I'm sorry this entry sounds boring and rather non-detailed, but I am extremely tired right now, and I need to get up early for work tomorrow morning. I promise, a much better(and much more detailed) entry will follow. I just felt like I needed to post something now for all you readers who sit on the edge of your seat refreshing my LJ page for hours on end. ;)

*sigh* Every time we are together, I fall harder and harder for her.

I will write more later. I promise.

Ps: This video is perfect for anyone who owns, or is thinking about owning a Mac.