Nicholas C. Clark ([info]nickshadows) wrote,
@ 2006-02-28 23:59:00
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Current mood: curious
Current music:watching old strongbad emails
Entry tags:core, mary, work

Work, men's CORE, and playing hard to get?
Ok, so work today: definitely not fun. Very busy, and Shelly and I were the only people there for most of the day. We got alot accomplished(we're trying to do as much as we can before the visit next tuesday) but there is a never-ending supply of work, not to mention cleaning up after other employees who don't do their job. Bah. We've given them enough time, I think Shelly and I are going to start writing up people. It always seems like we're the only ones who care about the store, and most everyone else doesn't. Grrr. Yes, I'm complaining about work. Sometimes ya just need to get it out and breath, you know?

In other news, I had men's CORE tonight. It went really well. More guys than last time, and even though the subject matter probably could have caused some people to clam up, everyone was really talking back and forth, sharing stories, and listening to Daniel and I. It was a good meeting. Next week we'll be talking about guilt, and what to do with it, so Daniel and I really need to start studying for it, seeing as how as the week goes by I'm just going to get busier and busier.

A question for you all--I was talking with my friend Laura a few minutes ago(ok, not really talking, more like--IM-ing) telling her about my date and telling her about Mary, when I briefly made the comment to her that I was a little worried about seeming a wee bit too over-eager, and scaring Mary off. To which Laura replied(naturally) 'take it slow, play hard to get'. I responded 'easier said than done'.
So my question is(yes, after all this set-up) what is the best course of action? Obviously, it's different for every person but in general(as a guy) is it better for me to play a little hard to get? Does my over-eagerness come off as desperate, and generally cause girls to run from me?
And if it is better to play hard to get, how do I do this? I mean, theres no denying theres an attraction, and I don't want to suddenly start acting different and make her think I'm not as interested as I once was. I like her, and I want her to know that. I don't want to act a certain way; I want to be myself but at the same time I'm a little worried that my hyperness and over-eagerness towards starting this new relationship might be one of the few things(if not the only thing) that would cause her to pause and change her mind about me.

Ahh... so thats one huge ramble right there. Hopefully none of you fell asleep while reading it.
If so, hey! At least I was responsible for refreshing you! And if you did stay awake--what are you waiting for? Leave me a comment and tell me your thoughts.

LOL. Yes, I'm a dork. But dorks are cool, yo. And don't you forget it.




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[info]silenttraveler
2006-03-01 01:28 pm UTC (link)
Okay dork...I'm leaving a comment! LOL

If I was the object of a guy's pursuit, I can guarentee I wouldn't want him being overly eager to make a relationship happen. I know in your case, you miss being in a relationship and desire that to happen. It is possible to have your desire push away restraint and blow something away before you could do something. My advyce is to slow down a little, breathe a bit, and take your steps carefully. It is not just you that you have to consider, you have to consider mary too. Be open, honest, and genuine. That is what I would want for myself. :o)

(Reply to this)


[info]firelynn
2006-03-01 02:13 pm UTC (link)
Don't be afraid to NOT be available for a night out. You still have your own life and priorities.

I think it's up to you to properly initiate things though. If you want to see her again, mention you'd like to hang out soon. We girls get the hint. If she seems to have a positive reponse about it, make some fun plans and invite her out with you. Even if it's just to Mosaic.

As much as girls say they want a guy to give them the world, once he starts doing so early in a relationship, it freaks them out. Things that give me positive vibes are respect (of me and what I say. i.e., no means no), a genuine interest in my life happenings, and the ability to see fruit in the guys' life and seeing him still care for and interact with a good group of friends. His pursuit of me shouldn't be cutting him off from his friends and responsibilites in life.

However, the number one thing, be true to your word. If you say you will call her and figure out a time to hang out, CALL HER. If she calls you, call her back. Let her know she's important to you.

Be excited about gaining her trust in friendship and the rest will bloom naturally. I hope my advice can help, I've only really had experience in being pursued by nonchristians, so at least I know what girls DONT want. ha.

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Take it from me....
(Anonymous)
2006-03-01 02:54 pm UTC (link)
Hey Nick! This is Mary's sister, Jacki. I just thought I'd put in my two cents. :-)

While I won't divulge any of what Mary has told me about the date, I will try to help you out. :-) But I can say she is interested in getting to know you more.

First off -- nice idea with the flowers! From my first day living in Denmark (literally), Peter has kept me in constant supply of fresh flowers. And I love it. After nearly 3 years I haven't grown tired of it.

Second -- it is definitly hard to figure out how to show interest without seeming over-eager and scaring a girl off. Beleive me, I've been scared off many times in the past. Girls don't like to feel smothered. The best way is to take things slow. Don't think of it right now as the start of a "relationship", but a friendship. If you call it a relationship, you are throwing all kinds of expectations on it. And that is not good at all. You've just met like two weeks ago, and seen each other once in person. So think "friendship" for now and see where that leads.

The best way to approach it is, to find out her interests, and take her places! She has always complained to me in the past that her boyfriends never went anywhere past their own front door. Find out what she likes, show a genuine interest, and go from there.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: Take it from me....
[info]silenttraveler
2006-03-01 07:08 pm UTC (link)
Nick..you are a lucky man to have her family help out. Key advyce...listen to them :oD

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]cerowland
2006-03-02 03:46 am UTC (link)
i concure with silent-travel-girl be honest with her and come right out and tell her your feelings. Ask HER if you seem too over eager. Take your time.

~i hate to sound cliche but remember that she is your sister in christ...for the time being. If this friendship is to blossom into anything, then let God direct your steps and actions. He won't steer you wrong!

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